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| Blogs > Loreli_Seawytch_ > My Blog |
Such a Scary Word
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Such a Scary Word Love.....the word scares the hell out of me Yet still I search for it still I yearn for it to envelop me After so long my knight finally arrives, My shining Sir Galahad His beautiful armour, his magnificent steed Prancing in front of me I rejoice, my eyes shine like stars t That light up the night sky My heart soar, it sings, tear of joy Hover then slide down my face Rivulets Of happiness becoming diamonds at my feet All to soon, I find his charger has the mange And is lam, the glistening armour riddled with rust His long shinning hair a cheap wig, His body held together by a corset From his foul smelling mouth nothing But empty promises and lies So back to the bars I go to try and connect, Maybe this time he will be there Football, all codes, Cricket, Basketball, Car Racing I study them all and become expert at talking the talk Did you see that high tackle? Jeez the ref is blind That was a foul, a deliberate foul, omg he passed him on the inside of he lane incredible Bathurst Rules You have got to be kidding V8 racing is king Rallies are crap I argue talking to a male petrol head Going where I know the male of the species hangs out Getting 40DDD breast implants to impress Low tops showing them to full advantage Short dresses, skirts skin tight leather jeans All to get his attention hoping he will appreciate me Only to find those I attract are just as false as my implants Why do men who have been separated for 20 minutes Still with the white mark of the wedding ring Haunt the bars waiting for the likes of me desperately seeking Telling their story, I love my , would do anything for them but she demands money just to let me see them, she just doesn't understand me, hell so I like to have a drink with the boys, so I forgot to pick the up from school once or twice and forgot a birthday, that is nothing, I love my Why do we women fall for the guy who wants a live in housekeeper Nanny, lover but does not want to have to pay for one, wanting and expecting a sex kitten who will think his beer gut and thongs sexy His idea of fantastic sex... hey hun it's half time, a quick fumble that leaves you unsatisfied and he another story to tell his mates down the pub, about how he made the little woman moan and groan in ecstasy not realizing they were moans of frustration Or if you suggest that he did not satisfy you, you are a bleeding nympho, what's got into you woman Why is it acceptable and expected for him to ask you to suck his pensis and swallow his cum as if it was the nectar of the gods, But if you ask him to go down on you, to lick your pussy, tease your clit, you are a sick , unnatural , then the accusation that you are sleeping around to have learned such dirty disgusting unnatural things Why do we all fall for the gay man who pretends to be straight Why do we fall victim to the man who will not cannot do anything without checking with his mother first, and of course your cooking is not as good as his mothers', he is sure she will give you the recipe Why do we fall for the louse you know him ladies, he is the one telling you how much he loves you you are the only one for him as he is winking over your shoulder at your best friend and slips her his number as you leave. Then of course there is the dirt bag in a competition with his mates to see how many notches he can get on his bed in a allotted time, the prize free beer for a week ............sheesh Why I ask myself do these men keep knocking on my door, or maybe the real question is why do I keep opening it and letting them in Do I have sucker, easy, bloody idiot written on my forehead. Am I not so street wise but naïve, lonely, my curse being able to see good in everybody, a bloody gullible woman who has a desperate need to believe their lies, a hunger, to be loved, needed is it so overwhelming that I cannot or will not see or listen to my friends who try and warn me Am I the local joke, you know the telephone number written in the men's toilet, want a good time, want a sucker then ring this number. Sitting here writing this venting, tears in my eyes, I ask myself one more question Why? I am an intelligent woman, I have quite a few degrees, and incredible job where I am both liked and respected not an easy thing to accomplish in the business world. I have travelled the world, speak half a dozen languages, have good and loyal friends all over the world. The answer, you have been programmed from a little girl you need a man to make you whole, men do not like smart women, your place is in the home looking after your man, having babies... BULLSHIT, it is like blinkers have been removed, I do not need a man to make me whole. I can be intelligent and not be a threat I can have a career and still be a good wife, lover and mother However, I also have to adjust my criteria, the days of knights in shining armour are over Much better to look for a man who makes you laugh, a man who treats you with courtesy and respect, who listens to your ideas and if they are better than his says so accepts he is not always right A man who treats you as an equal, a man you would feel privileged to grow old with, a man who when our bodies no longer allow us to make sensual satisfying love, shows his love in other ways and we talk and laugh together I look down at myself, yes I am going to make an appointment tomorrow, the 40DDD's are going, they are so bloody heavy and uncomfortable, the short dresses and tight jeans for my after hours play are going and a new wardrobe purchased, yes I will still wear sensual rather than sexy underwear If I want to attract men who will respect me, then I have to respect and like myself. How can I expect a man to love , like and respect me if I do not do so. Look out world here comes the better and improved me, swallows and shivers again... Dam Love is still a scary word but at least now I understand it a little more and hopefully I will learn more in my future 
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