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| Blogs > Ready_in_Folsom > Thoughts of a frustrated hubby |
First post
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First post So here I am, going on 8 plus years of marriage, almost 10 years of being together. And sex was awesome the first year, best I had and all I could ask for! Then a switch went off in her and for the last 8 plus years it has been dismal. I love my wife, she is my best friend, but I need more than a best friend. I need a lover, passion, lust. I need to FUCK multiple times a week! I need someone to want me as mush as I crave them! I need someone to masturbate just thinking about me again. That is how she was, it was what made me fall in love all those years ago. My sex drive is worse now than when I was a horny ! I miss foreplay, oral action, risking being caught in public places, not caring if are awake, miss whenever and wherever! Three incredible keep me here. The desire and hope she will turn that switch back on keep me here. Although the last few months I feel like the switch is permanently broken. Starting to question if this is what I want? At my age, I need to look long term, and not sure this is healthy for us, or the . I never thought I'd be a cheater, but here I am on this sight looking for a FWB to let me be me, let me enjoy sex again, lol, have sex again. I love FUN sex, sex where we are sweating like it is 110 out and no wind! Sex where we are all over the place, frantic to keep things going and turn one another on more! I had it once, and miss it so much. Anyways, that is it, small intro to my thoughts, at least for today. |
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I met a man about a year ago. Told me he cheated on his first 2 wives..in his past. Said he was always horny and if he didn't get it from the wife he would get it someplace else. Then as we got to know one another .. (hence my name here) he was the one not putting out.. and I given him, his same line back.. If I don't get it here I'll go elsewhere. He grew angry and we grew apart..him thinking every time I left to go see my son 4 hrs away did I really go there. Or did I make a pit stop. Honestly at time I did. Got tired of him using sex as he way of showing me he was angry. I quit asking or even responding to him when he wanted me. Just remember you need to make those choices in your life.. of what will be... Mine is that I left and reopened my account here. Back into the pond of many others looking and wanting. Some for keeps some for just the time being.. .no matter what be honest with everyone around. Just to make sure there are no hurt feelings.
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i hear what your saying and that is sad. but i gotta tell you if you sometimes all it takes is some different playing rules like start sprucing up, exercising, walkin' taller and lookin' real good without actually doing anything else, her radar may go up. it's human nature you don't want what you got until you think somebody else might going to get it!
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excuse the typos. if she just thinks in her own mind your about to get it somewhere else if your aren't already, there just may be some surprises.
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don't live with dismal... make her sweat for awhile. no words, just wondering
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Been THERE, doing THAT. I get it- really, i do. As others have said, cheating is not always the answer. It often causes MORE problems. And if she's your best friend, as my husband is mine, you'll have an honest convo with her. I argued, begged, threatened and tried counseling. I bought all the kinky toys and lingerie, scheduled romantic getaways from the kiddos...all of it. What became of my last-ditch effort? I now have a Hall Pass and a clear conscience. I'm also happier, more productive and a better wife and mother since my needs are being met. Yes, it's a hard nut to swallow to think your spouse is ok with you sleeping with someone else, but if you can maintain boundaries AND your wife's trust, it's a better option to going behind her back. When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load...
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I hear what most are saying. We have had very frank discussions on what we both want now regarding intimacy. She just has no desire period. I begged her to even masturbate once, see if it would get the juices flowing. She did, and said it was ok, but then never did again. She use to do it between our three times a day! Asking her if it is OK to have a hall pass I do not see going well. She is extremely jealous, and her radar is way up. I know she realizes she is doing nothing in sex department, so even talking to one of her friends makes her jealous. Just got a lecture about how she wanted alone time with me over weekend at camping trip and instead I was with friend of hers. Real story, I had to go get more ice, and friend invited herself with me, and I tried to make excuse to go alone. But at same time, every chance I took to have some fun with her, shot down. It is very much like she expects me to just stop wanting it like her, that would be her preference.
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Sugar, would love to hear your thoughts, but you will have to email me since I am standard member. 
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So here we are again. Even after a stint of therapy I ASKED FOR, and she still does not get it! Even therapist told her she was in wrong. Yet nothing changes. I do not get it. Maybe I don;t get women in general, I dont know. Most women I have dated are hot and ready during the dating phase, but once the relationship is established, it goes away. First wife same shit. But that marriage was so fast there was no foundation, no kids, and super young. I work 70 hours a week, deal with the kids, cook, clean a small amount, and yet am ready to go at all times. I am tired of hearing how tired she is. How long her day was. Tired of getting shit because I am at work , the type of shit reserved for guys out drinking with buds and not being home. All I hear is BS from her, and now she wants to spend a ridiculous sum of money to get away for a weekend and connect. WHY? I want to connect HERE, NOW. And once we have it, fine, lets go spend a FUN weekend together. I just do not see the point. We tried this more than once, have sex right when we walk in door, MAYBE once more in the weekend, and then back to BS. Just so annoyed now adays.
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