10/20/09 Quote of the Day/Week...
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Posted:Oct 20, 2009 11:27 am
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 3:13 am
6617 Views
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"Our real blessings
often appear to us
in the shapes of pains,
losses and dissappointments;
but let us have patience,
and we shall see them
in their proper figures."
- Joseph Addison
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10/01/09 Quote of the Day/Week.....
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Posted:Oct 1, 2009 5:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 27, 2024 3:13 am
6232 Views
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"Sometimes our light goes out
but it is blown into flame
by another human being.
Each of us owes
deepest thanks
to those
who have rekindled
this light."
- Albert Schweitzer
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Bullshit,math,ass-kissing and the office affair.....
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Posted:Mar 13, 2007 8:41 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2008 5:45 am
6904 Views
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Bullshit,math,ass-kissing and the office affair..
What makes 100%?
What does it mean to give more than 100%?
Nearly everyone in the work force,has been to one of those meetings,where someone wants you to give over 100%....
Have you ever wonder about those people,who claim they're giving more than 100%?
How about,the over achiever? You know;the teachers-pet,the team captain.. And don't forget,the company asskisser..
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula,that should help you answer those questions.
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
A = 1 / B = 2 / C = 3 / D = 4 / E = 5 / F = 6 / G = 7 / H = 8 / I = 9 / J = 10 / K = 11 / L = 12 / M = 13 / N = 14 / O = 15 / P = 16 / Q = 17 / R = 18 / S = 19 / T = 20 / U = 21 / V = 22 / W = 23 / X = 24 / Y = 25 / Z = 26
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20=103%
Now let us take a look at
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7=118%
and for the ones that go straight to the zipper.
F-U-C-K-I-N-G-T-H-E-B-O-S-S
and beyond
6+21+3+11+9+14+7+20+8+5+2+15+19+19=159%
F-U-C-K-I-N-G-T-H-E-B-O-S-S-A-N-D-S-P-O-U-S-E
6+21+3+11+9+14+7+20+8+5+2+15+19+19+1+14+4+19+16+ 15+21+19+5=273%
So,one can conclude with mathematical certainty,that:
Hard work and knowledge brings opportunity.
Having a good attitude will get you noticed.
Bullshit and asskissng will get you further..
We all know,that fucking the boss can give you a good legs up in the company. However,having the boss spouse join in,increases your chances of survival.
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Husband & Ex-wife....
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Posted:Mar 1, 2007 3:21 pm
Last Updated:Feb 13, 2008 4:00 am
6692 Views
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Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you taht I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I gotten my hair and nails done,cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes,and went straight to sleep after watching the game.
You don't tell me you love me anymore,you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore,whatever the case is I'm gone!!!....
P.S. If your trying to find me,don't! Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
- Your Ex-Wife
Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true that you and I have been married for seven years,although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.
I did notice when you cut off all your hair last week,the first thing that came to mind was "You look like a man!" My mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice.
When you cooked my favorite meal,you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that MY BROTHER fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.
After all this,I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto I for 10 million dollars,I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote,you won't get a dime from me...... So take care.
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this Carl,my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
Signed:
- Rich as Hell and Free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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