Mouse prat strikes again
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Posted:Jan 10, 2006 1:17 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2006 1:11 pm
3527 Views
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By JOHN TROUP
DOPY Gary Telford showed drunken pals how he caught his manhood in a mouse trap – and did it again.
Pub manager Gary, 32, was in agony after the party piece went wrong.
Amazingly it was the SECOND time he has been taken to casualty after getting his privates mangled in the stunt.
The first accident happened at the age of 14 when a schoolboy prank went wrong. He needed 14 stitches to fix his wounded willy.
When regulars at The Railway pub in Ipswich, Suffolk, heard about Gary’s painful past they egged him on to show them what happened.
A pal put a mouse trap on a pool table for the demonstration – but Gary tripped as he walked towards it with his manhood hanging out.
Last night Gary said: “I was quite drunk so I undid my flies and walked over to the trap. I really didn’t mean to set the trap off again but I stumbled and it went. I must be the only bloke in Britain to have caught my bits in a mousetrap not once but twice.
“It is completely and utterly embarrassing.
“Luckily I only nipped the end of my privates but I still had to go to casualty for a tetanus injection.
“The nurses thought it was hilarious – especially when they realised it was my second visit for the same accident.”
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Coming Soon: 'Polyamorist Rights'?
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Posted:Jan 9, 2006 4:13 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2006 1:11 pm
3761 Views
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Coming Soon: 'Polyamorist Rights'?
By AFA Journal
January 9, 2006
(AgapePress) - It may only be in its beginning stages, but the "polyamorist movement" may be grabbing onto the coat tails of the increasingly effective homosexual movement.
"Polyamorists" are individuals who maintain more than one emotional-sexual relationship simultaneously, believing that monogamy is unnatural. Relationships can be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
Paul Harris, a New York reporter for The Observer, a London, England, newspaper, writes in words that sound strangely similar to those used to describe the homosexual movement.
He said "polyamorists are coming out of the closets across America. Several groups have sprung up. In New York, Polyamorous NYC holds monthly meetings, has an e-mail list of about 800 and holds a Poly Pride Day each year in Central Park.
"A documentary, Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family, has opened at cinemas in the city, chronicling a 13-year relationship between three people living together in a relationship that produced two ."
"Most people in the poly community are very closeted," Justen Bennett-MacCubbin, founder of Polyamorous NYC, told The Observer. "The community is where gays and lesbians were in the '60s."
"We want a change in perception of what's possible. By and large, people are not naturally monogamous, and we should be able to talk about it without prejudice," Bennett-MacCubbin said.
Perceptions seem to have definitely changed in The Netherlands. In a nation that is arguably the most accepting of homosexuality in the world, the first polygamous civil union was recorded this fall, when a man and two women had their relationship legally recognized.
"I love both Bianca and Mirjam, so I am marrying them both," Victor de Bruijn proudly declared in September.
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It
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Posted:Jan 7, 2006 3:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2006 9:12 pm
3731 Views
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Yes, it's that one.
If you have been following my post in the Groups, it her, THE Neighbor, she's back.
She been advoiding me for the last three weeks, then, out of the blue, yesterday she calls. She wanted her and my to hang out (they are both 7 years old in the same class in school).
So she came over, (just happens the warden was out of the house, THE Neighbor always knows when the warden is gone, the warden's car is gone) and we chit-chat a little.
So, me the dumb ass I am, asked when we can hang.
She said she's kinda busy this weekend, since she painting her basement, but she may need help on Sunday. Then gave me that sexy THE Neighbor look she gives, that she know send chill down my spine.
Did I also tell you that THE Neigbor made a point to tell me that her will be gone the Sunday with his father?
Did I tell you the the warden said, last month, "I do not care if you go out with her. I do not care if you chingar her, you pendejo...canto de cabrón"?
Did I tell you the the warden gets a Spanish accent when she's pissed?
It's the last words, "you pendejo...canto de cabrón" got me worried.
Just a little.
So should I go "painting" on Sunday?
Should I start this shit again?
Will the warden finally say, "Release the hounds on the carebicho"?
Stayed tuned...
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Orlando Swinger Party Upsets Soccer Parents
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Posted:Jan 3, 2006 12:24 pm
Last Updated:Mar 25, 2006 9:13 pm
3884 Views
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Orlando Swinger Party Upsets Soccer Parents
Jan 03 12:52 PM US/Eastern
Email this story
Some teenage soccer players and their parents saw more sights than they wanted when they stayed at a hotel where about 200 swingers were having a New Year's party.
Paul Camporini brought his wife, seventh-grade and eighth- grade from Safety Harbor and said he had to "delicately explain to my Catholic school that swingers change partners during the evening."
"My biggest gripe is that the hotel had two distinctly different groups under the same roof," said Camporini, 49. "A soccer team and middle-aged swingers should not have been booked together."
The families said the sexually adventurous partygoers sometimes flashed breasts and bare buttocks in front of the as they sashayed through the hotel atrium. The parents described the dress at the Crowne Plaza Hotel-Airport in Orlando as "raunchy, despicable and worse than prostitutes."
"We thought we were coming to Orlando, not the Las Vegas Strip," said Mark Gilbert, the father of a boy who plays on the Clearwater Chargers, a group of 13-and-under players from Florida.
The teams booked the $92-a-night rooms for Disney's Soccer Showcase, and said hotel management did not tell them about the swingers' party or try to keep the partygoers away from the .
Hotel managers did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment Tuesday. All of the swingers had checked out of the hotel by late Sunday.
"We're not prudes by any means," said Rob Young of Greenville, S.C., who said his two daughters, Leah, 13 and Lauren, 11, asked questions he struggled to answer. "We would have liked to have been informed when we checked into the hotel so we could have made other arrangements.
"The could see through the glass atrium into the ballroom where naked people were dancing. There were exposed breasts, thongs and see- through dresses on women who were not wearing any underwear."
Young said he complained to hotel management and to John Hollis, an off-duty Orlando police officer hired by the hotel for a New Year's Eve security detail. He said neither did anything to help.
Lt. John Mina, a watch commander for the Orlando Police Department, said Hollis didn't witness anything illegal.
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Canada's group sex club patrons swinging free
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Posted:Dec 27, 2005 12:56 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
4074 Views
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Canada's group sex club patrons swinging free
Mon Dec 26, 2005 1:56 PM ET
By Robert Melnbardis
MONTREAL (Reuters) - On a recent night out on the town, Michel and Chantal Delbecchi left their suburban Montreal home and drove to the L'Orage Club in the city's east end, where they had sex with a couple they had never met before.
The Delbecchis, husband and wife since 1978, are "echangistes," French for "swingers," who for the past 21 years have been visiting clubs like L'Orage (Thunderstorm) to have consensual sex in a group with one or more other people.
For future outings, they will no longer have to fear police will raid the club and arrest them for being in a "bawdy house," a place where or acts of public indecency take place.
In a landmark decision on Dec, 21, the Supreme Court of Canada lifted a ban on swingers' clubs, ruling that group sex among consenting adults is neither nor a threat to society.
The ruling sparked outrage, largely in English-speaking parts of Canada, where critics said it would erode limits on indecency or obscenity, encourage and even contribute to the corruption of minors.
In the mainly French-speaking and predominantly Catholic province of Quebec, however, the decision caused barely a ripple of adverse reaction. Newspaper editorialists fumed in Toronto, but largely yawned in Montreal.
Swingers across Canada cheered the ruling, especially those in Quebec, where adherents go to clubs not only to meet others like them, but also to have sex on the premises.
"It might make it easier for others interested in swinging to take the next step and visit a club," said Michel, 48, huddled next to Chantal, 43, on a sofa at the dimly lit L'Orage.
Michel, who works at an outlet of warehouse retailer Costco, and Chantal, on leave from her job at a school bus operator, said most swingers are not comfortable in the public spotlight.
"We have a few friends who were afraid to come out to a club because they were worried about how a raid might affect their work or family situation," said Chantal.
For L'Orage club owner Jean-Paul Labaye, the court ruling is vindication after a seven-year court battle that began with a 1998 police raid in which he and 40 of his patrons were arrested for being in a bawdy house.
"Everyone was shocked that we would be treated like bandits," said Labaye. "I vowed to defend myself and their cause if that was their desire and that is what I did."
GANG BANG TUESDAYS
Labaye, a portly and jovial 46-year-old native of France, said swingers celebrated the Supreme Court victory with a late-night party at L'Orage.
In an interview the next day at the club, temporarily housed at a venue which features "gang bang" Tuesday afternoons, Labaye apologized for not being able to show a reporter and photographer the upstairs rooms where groups have sex because the housekeeping service had not yet cleaned them.
The club is housed in an elegant but aging two-story house on a busy street. The ground floor has mismatched sofas and chairs, scant lighting and framed photographs on the walls depicting scenes of mild sexual bondage.
The club has no license to sell alcoholic beverages, but sports a small bar that offers coffee and caffeine-loaded soft drinks.
Labaye hopes a group of Florida investors will help him move into swankier digs, which in addition to the requisite private rooms will have something resembling a refined cigar lounge.
Club rules will be the same -- no illicit drugs or alcohol abuse, and when it comes to propositions for sex, a reply of no means no.
In the meantime, the swinger soirees will continue at L'Orage and at least two dozen similar clubs in Quebec, including one in Gatineau, just opposite the Ottawa River from the imposing stone hulk of the Supreme Court building.
Labaye and the Delbecchis, who have three adult sons, are preparing for important changes in their personal lives.
Labaye plans to marry his girlfriend in Paris in May.
As for Michel and Chantal, a 25-year-old woman has become their mutual lover and all three plan to move in together early next year. Despite that new relationship, the Delbecchis expect to continue exchanging sex partners in Quebec clubs.
Said Michel: "At the club, we have sex with people. At home, we make love."
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Canadians can have group sex in clubs: top court
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Posted:Dec 21, 2005 11:56 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3875 Views
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Canadians can have group sex in clubs: top court
Wed Dec 21, 2005 10:16 AM ET
By David Ljunggren
OTTAWA (Reuters) - Group sex between consenting adults is neither nor a threat to society, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Wednesday, dismissing arguments that the sometimes raucous activities of so-called "swingers" clubs were dangerous.
In a ruling that radically changes the way Canadian courts determine what poses a threat to the population, the court threw out the conviction of a Montreal man who ran a club where members could have group sex in a private room behind locked doors.
"Consensual conduct behind code-locked doors can hardly be supposed to jeopardize a society as vigorous and tolerant as Canadian society," said the opinion of the seven-to-two majority, written by Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin.
The decision does not affect existing laws against because no money changed hands between the adults having sex.
The court was reviewing an appeal by Jean-Paul Labaye, who ran the L'Orage (Thunderstorm) club. He had been convicted of running a "bawdy house" -- defined as a place where or acts of public indecency could take place.
Lawyers for Labaye and James Kouri, the owner of another swingers' club in Montreal, had argued that consensual sex between groups of adults behind closed doors was neither indecent or a risk to society.
The Supreme Court judges agreed.
"Criminal indecency or obscenity must rest on actual harm or a significant risk of harm to individuals or society. The Crown failed to establish this essential element of the offence. The Crown's case must therefore fail," wrote McLachlin.
In indecency cases, Canadian courts have traditionally probed whether the acts in question "breached the rules of conduct necessary for the proper functioning of society". The Supreme Court ruled that from now on, judges should pay more attention to whether society would be harmed.
The judges said that just because most Canadians might disapprove of swingers' clubs, this did not necessarily mean the establishments were socially dangerous.
"Attitudes in themselves are not crimes, however deviant they may be or disgusting they may appear," the judges said, noting that no one had been pressured to have sex or had paid for sex in either of the cases.
"The autonomy and liberty of members of the public was not affected by unwanted confrontation with the sexual activity in question only those already disposed to this sort of sexual activity were allowed to participate and watch," they said.
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Couple arrested for 'sex rage'
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Posted:Dec 13, 2005 1:16 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3878 Views
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ELECTRIC NEWS
Couple arrested for 'sex rage'
December 10, 2005
THEY were jetting off for a holiday in Kingston, Jamaica, and the drinks flowed freely during the ten-hour flight.
Intoxicated, the couple, who were seated in business class, decided to submit their membership for the 'mile-high club' in one of the toilets.
But the British Airways flight staff became suspicious after hearing cries of passion from the loo, and the randy couple was ordered to stop and return to their seats.
Randy quickly turned into angry.
Stunned passengers watched in horror as the couple fought with flight staff.
A passenger told The Sun: 'They were asked politely to return to their seats but went ballistic. They were shouting vile abuse and spitting at staff.'
Another said: 'The captain tried to calm them down but they were just as abusive to him.'
And despite being restrained with plastic handcuffs, the pilot decided he had no choice but to divert the 777 jet to Bermuda.
The couple, who were booked on a two-week holiday, were held by police in Bermuda and put on a flight back to Gatwick yesterday.
Now the duo, from Luton, Beds, have been arrested and face being charged with air rage. They may also have to bear the 20,000 ($58,950) cost of diverting the plane.
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Smart Bats Have Smaller Testicles
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Posted:Dec 12, 2005 11:52 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3723 Views
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Smart Bats Have Smaller Testicles
Fox News ^ | December 12, 2005 | Ker Than
For male bats, intelligence comes at a steep price. A new study found that bat species with large brains have smaller testicles.
The correlation is likely an evolutionary tradeoff between having to maintain a large brain and producing lots of sperm, said Scott Pitnick, a biologist at Syracuse University in New York who conducted the research.
"The male who ejaculates the greatest number of sperm may win at this game, and hence many bats have evolved outrageously big testes," Pitnick said. "Because they live on an energetic knife-edge, bats may not be able to evolutionarily afford both big testes and big brains."
Female bats in many species mate with more than just one male, and sperm can survive in the female's body for long periods of time; this leads to fierce competition between sperm to fertilize the egg.
Pitnick suspects that the males with relatively large testes and small brains leave more offspring than larger-brained and less fertile competitors.
In the study, Pitnick and colleagues analyzed 334 species of bats and found that in species with promiscuous females, the males had evolved larger testes but had relatively small brains.
In species where the females were faithful to their mates, the correlation was reversed. The study also showed that male fidelity appeared to have no influence over testes or brain size.
In some bat species, the male's testes can make up as much as 8.5 percent of body mass. Of all mammals, bats have the widest range of testes mass: between 0.12 percent and 8.5 percent of body mass.
As a comparison, testes mass in primates (including humans) varies between 0.02 and 0.75 percent.
The research was detailed in a recent issue of the journal Proceedings B of London, a biology journal of the United Kingdom's Royal Society.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
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AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETLY DIFFERENT
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Posted:Dec 10, 2005 2:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3775 Views
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From: Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you moralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
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My wife and I
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Posted:Dec 10, 2005 2:15 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3485 Views
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WHY? Annie Lennex
How many times do I have to try to tell you
That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey...this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me...
Why
Why
I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(This boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out
Turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why
This is the book I've never read
These are the words I've never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...
The tears we shed
This is the fear
This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent
And this is how I feel
Do you know how I feel?
'Cause I don't think you know how I feel
I don't think you know what I feel
I don't think you know what I fear
You don't know what I fear
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To link to this blog (Phineas1962) use [blog Phineas1962] in your messages.
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