Welcome & Please Sign In.....
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Posted:Oct 17, 2012 1:18 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2015 9:24 pm
36499 Views
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Hello & Welcome to my blog. I started this blog as a way to rant, ramble, & just get my thoughts out. Now I have become addicted to Discreet Gay Dating blogging despite my best intentions. My blog will have posts covering a wide variety of things, from swinging to living the polyamorous lifestyle to everything in between.
A little about me, I am a wife & a mother first and foremost. We have been in the swinging lifestyle for quite a few years & have recently entered into a polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend.
Please sign my guestbook & say HI.
All posts here will be for MY EYES ONLY. |
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Unfounded Fears??
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Posted:Dec 5, 2012 12:28 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2015 9:26 pm
38385 Views
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Jealousy happens when a person feels that a relationship that is of importance is threatened by someone else outside of the relationship, be it romantic, platonic, friendship, etc. Jealousy can also occur in the context of competitive situations, such as the workplace or education.
Jealousy is not a rare emotion––many people feel it now and then. Jealousy can bring you down and even pull apart a relationship. Rather than letting jealousy infect your relationship with others, use its appearance as a reason to work on yourself and to understand the fears that drive it.
The common experience of jealousy for many people may involve:
• Fear of loss
• Suspicion of or anger about a perceived betrayal
• Low self-esteem and sadness over perceived loss
• Uncertainty and loneliness
• Fear of losing an important person to another
• Distrust
Jealousy is just insecurity wearing a super-ugly mask. Sometimes, it takes a lot of magic to remove the mask safely.
We have been told over & over & over that there is NO place in the lifestyle for Jealousy, yet Jealously probably pops up most in the personal relationships we have with others. In most cases, it has to do with our partners. We value them the most and if we do not get enough attention from them it negatively affects us.
Jealously is a major consideration for couples who are interested in the swinger's lifestyle. One of the prerequisites for entering the swinging lifestyle is to trust your partner. Without trust, you will have a difficult time opening up and enjoying all the lifestyle has to offer.
You have to come to terms with the fact that your partner is attracted to other people, even if you are not swingers. This is just part of life. There are tons of attractive people in the world and it is perfectly natural for your partner to think others are attractive.
It is important to understand that jealousy is about fear. Fear of the unknown and the new, of losing the power or control you felt in your relationship. Fear of being left out or abandoned by some one you thought loved you and your perception of the relationship.
The very personal nature of sex as something only shared with one partner at a time is very much ingrained into us by the conditioning of the monogamous society in which most of us have been brought up. It should be viewed with little wonder that some feelings of jealousy will remain during our first experiences of swinging. If the swinger couple share a healthy and fundamentally trusting relationship however, they can soon overcome these hang ups and actually be able to feel more trust than ever before.
This happens because of the openness that swinging presents. Whereas before a couple become swingers, they can only guess about how their respective partners would be when having sex with another person; afterwards the guess work is no longer necessary. This is a positive thing because it is the fear of the unknown that causes people to react in negative and often self destructive ways. Trust is developed by knowing your partner better, while guessing can often be used to avoid knowing them better because deep down one fears finding something they do not want to.
Many of the most experienced swinger couples we have met over the years have told us that their relationship has been strengthened in this way. They also report how the blurring of the distinction between love-making and recreational sex has been cleared for them by their experiences. Time and time again, swingers have commented how much fun the recreational sex was but how their love-making would be enhanced as a result of it when they got home.
I’m not suggesting that if you feel jealous you should bury that deep down inside, or grin and bare it. That would be like packing down the black powder. It may be more compact and less noticeable, but eventually that spark’s gonna set it off What I think you can do, though, is when feeling that pang of jealousy, recognize that’s what it is. Once you do that, you can analyze it. That’s the hard part, of course. Pulling the handbrake on that surge of emotion and saying “what the fuck?” But that’s where it really is. You gotta get there to move beyond.
Because once it’s recognized, and you look deep down at it…well, you will realized it was just leftover from high school and being left out.
Jealousy is, like anger, an overwhelming emotion, one that sets up shop in the center of your brain and says: “Fuck it, I’m in charge!” But just as anger management can help you control anger, and as most of us have learned to control ours over the years, jealousy can also be controlled. Because, like anger, jealousy is based in fear. The difference is that, while we’ve been taught to control our anger, you know, take a breath, count to 10, we’ve been encouraged to nurture our jealousy.
It’s what TV shows are about. It’s what mainstream America wants us thinking about, building in our minds. Jealousy of gadgets, money, the sex we can’t have with the people we’re not with. Jealousy isn’t just encouraged, it’s the fucking American Way! The tide can be turned, however, the change can be made.
Jealousy is like fire, the less oxygen it gets, the smaller and smaller it gets, until it’s nothing more than a wick. And unlike those other emotions we’ve been taught to repress, killing the spark of jealousy won’t make us dead inside. It’s a wholly unnecessary emotion. It only causes pain. Jealousy only becomes the beginning of the problem, or the catalyst, or the deciding factor in an issue that you clearly should sit and think on a bit, wait for calmer heads to prevail.
‘Cuz maybe, just maybe, it isn’t as bad as you thought. Maybe you were just being silly. Maybe, after all, you do trust your partner completely. That she won’t run off with that guy she was flirting with at the bar, that he won’t suddenly feel that sex with you isn’t as good as sex with others. It’s trust, it’s confidence…
The concerns are quite healthy and while you may continue to experience some jealous feelings from time to time you will not only learn how to handle them but you will experience a strengthening of trust in your relationship as a result of swinging.
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Don't Blow .......... My Cover
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Posted:Nov 7, 2012 4:01 pm
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2012 12:29 pm
35757 Views
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How do you act with your Swinger Friends in Public? What if you meet someone at a public venue that you previously met at a swing club, what do you do? What if you run into a potential playmate in public, how do you treat them? When you are in the lifestyle all of these are possibilities.
Over the weekend I was out and about having a girl’s day out with a lifestyle friend. We have been friends for many years and are very comfortable around each other, both in and out of the bedroom. We were wandering around shopping, chatting, laughing like friends do when we ran into a couple that we have recently met that are in the lifestyle. A couple that I am VERY interested in. We chatted with them quite a while and they made it very clear that there were VANILLA people around that they were acquainted with, people that lived in the same small town they live in. And so began the dilemma of including them in our fun & showing them that I AM interested in getting to know them MUCH better, all while NOT alarming their vanilla friends. These are things that people in other areas of the country might not have to deal with, but in this small town rural America we live in, it is a common occurrence. For us, we usually ere on the side of caution, and while we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings we figure that keeping their lifestyle a secret is of #1 importance. Later if we need to we can explain in private that we didn’t mean to be distant, we just didn’t want to break discretion or make them uncomfortable.
Have you had something like this happen before? How did you handle it? This is something everyone involved in the lifestyle should think about, but never consider until it happens. You never know when you are going to run into someone that you met at a lifestyle event at a vanilla location. We never want to make problems for another, and NONE of us want to ever be in the position of playing 20 questions with a Vanilla friend or family member. |
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Slut or Not
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Posted:Oct 31, 2012 9:51 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2015 9:27 pm
35985 Views
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Tonight as I was taking my boys out to Trick or Treat something struck me. Well not really struck me, but as I was watching the going door to door asking innocently “Trick or Treat” I became aware of something startling to me. Little girls' Halloween costumes are looking more like they were designed by Victoria's Secret. The witches, pirates, and pumpkin costumes of days past now all have the word “sexy” in front of them. Tight around the stomach, short flared skirts, and low cut necklines seem to be the norm for girls, regardless of what the costume is supposed to be. Since when do witches wear fishnet stockings? I saw a little “sexy” witch today that couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. Outfits that used to be reserved for adult role play are now perfectly acceptable costumes for . Is this too much too soon for , or just a natural progression of dress up? I personally find it disturbing that these costumes are being marketed for under 13 years old. Even to little girls as young as 6.
I think it was the movie “Mean Girls’ a few years back that said Halloween was when teenage girls got to release their inner slut. I personally think that’s pretty scary! (Here the actual quote from “Mean Girls”: Cady: “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” I ended the night feeling VERY glad that I have 4 boys & don’t have to fight the fight that would ensue if I had a .
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You wanna be naughty WHERE?
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Posted:Oct 30, 2012 10:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2015 9:28 pm
35743 Views
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Where is the most exotic place you would want to have sex? Before you go out & find that exotic place and start getting hot, lets talk about why a few places are better left in fantasyland.
The Mile High Club…Have you ever been in a plane restroom? Talk about a tight fit……& not in a good way. It's like have sex in a kitchen cabinet, but imagine that there were a bunch of faucets and handles inside your cabinet jabbing you in the ass.
Sex on the beach. The drink may really be a better option than the act. Two words…..sand fleas. Not something you really want to encounter. Plus there are certain areas that just don’t need to be exfoliated & if you have sex on the beach that is going to happen.
Getting Wild in the Wilderness …..There is just nothing more romantic than packing a picnic lunch, a blanket, & heading out for a sexy evening with your lover under the stars. Just be careful to examine every leaf you are near, you don’t want some hard to explain itching later on. And make sure you aren’t in bear country, your sounds may attract them.
A public restroom…. You sneak into the bathroom with a sweaty stranger, hop into a stall and go to town. The same stall where a nightclub full of tanked strangers have been visiting all night. You ever tried going to the bathroom while totally drunk? How's your aim?
A Movie theater People having sex at movie theaters is about as old as movie theaters themselves. It's dark, the floors are sticky, you're with that hot guy/gal you have been after for months. Maybe you're watching a movie that you find particularly sexy. You may be surprised to learn that not all the stickiness on the floor is the result of spilled Pepsi and the vomit of who couldn't handle the latest Pixar masterpiece, if you are getting lucky at the movie theater maybe someone else did too & that goo you just put your hand in……… Not to mention the Pee Wee Herman factor…… When the usher gets called in to stop you, he may have the police backing him. Depending on what state you're in and what you were doing, you may end up facing felony charges.
Pool/Hot Tub Sex can teach you very quickly why water makes a terrible lube. Having sex without adequate lube can cause mini tears, which make you more susceptible to STDs. Not to mention subjecting yourself to all that bacteria in places it really doesnt need to be.
That all being said…..MY exotic location for fantasy sex is under a waterfall….again I ask, How about YOURS?
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Halloween Fun
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Posted:Oct 29, 2012 4:14 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2012 8:28 am
36284 Views
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I have been blogging for a few weeks now about my excitement for the Halloween Party we were going to attend so it’s only fair that I tell you about it now. WOW, what an amazing FUN time we had. The fun actually started Saturday afternoon at the decorating where we had 20+ people come help get the clubhouse ready. It turned out AMAZING, everything from a real haunted house (where lots of fun times were had) to a life size working guillotine and even a cemetery full of past members lol By the way my decorations won 2nd place in the decorating contest. Yay!!! There were 70+ people in attendance (we are talking in Montana lol) & everywhere you turned there was another sexy body. It was great to finally meet quite a few people we had been chatting with here on Discreet Gay Dating. There were friends we hadn’t seen in awhile & there were new playmates that we met for the first time that night.
The costumes were arousing in more ways than one, our personal favorite was our bartender who even got into the mix & was Bubbilcious. The costume contest was almost too close to call with the female winner being a Devil who had a hard time containing her…..excitement, the male winner was an amazing rendition of Uncle Fester (complete with a light bulb in his mouth) & the couples winner went to a Medieval Knight & Princess. We had everything represented ; a Leather clad Elvis, a cowboy in sexy chaps, bikers, a nurse & Dr who stopped by, a blow-up doll, a sexy fairy, a pair of luscious French maids, a clown that knew how to have fun, a sexy guy from that 70’s show, even a “Glad he ate her”……too many to name them all really. Those of you that follow my blogs I gave teasers, but never actually told you my costume…..well I was a flapper girl from the 20s escorted by 2 very sexy Gangsters.
There was food galore, lady fingers, witches hats, mummys, bleeding cupcakes, hot balls, batty chocolates, vodka worms and even some healthy eats and treats. The dance floor was packed & everyone was having fun dirty dancing. We partied til the wee hours of the morning & then Sunday afternoon we had another 20+ people return Sunday afternoon to party more. |
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Halloween Partying
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Posted:Oct 26, 2012 4:36 pm
Last Updated:Oct 29, 2012 9:47 pm
35984 Views
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Yay, it’s almost Halloween. I have spent most of the day gathering up all of the pieces to my costume, putting the finishing touches on my decorations for the decorating contest, and making a few Spooky treats. Now everything is loaded in my car and I just get to sit back and wait for time to pass. Hopefully it passes quickly.
Halloween is my favorite party of the year. We are looking forward to hanging out with all of our friends, & meeting new people. Maybe even some new potential playmates. Lifestyle Halloween parties are so much more fun than vanilla Halloween parties. Costumes can be more sexual in nature and you just never know what might happen at a lifestyle party.
It’s not too late to come join us, if you are interested go check out My Friends Place All of the info about the party is there. Hope to see you at the party & if not, we will see you back here soon. |
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Stereotypes.....Truth or Fiction?
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Posted:Oct 25, 2012 3:08 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2012 8:28 am
36588 Views
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A recent conversation I had with the Hubby made me think…..I told him that when I go out to visit my best friend we are going to go to a male strip club and he responded with “"I don't care. They are all gay anyway." Really??? Why is that? This is not the first time I have heard this stereotyped this way, usually by my male friends. Yet these same men will go to a female strip club and get excited, never once uttering the words “All of those women are lesbians.” This stereotype crosses all sorts of lines, not just strippers, but male dancers, male figure skaters…..all of them face the “gay” stereotype. WHY?
Why is dance looked upon as being a “feminine” profession? Why is it so wrong for a guy to participate in this line of work? Why does contemporary society view male dancers as being “feminine”? The stereotype of male dancers automatically being gay—not to mention the myth that dancing makes you queer—is a concept that Americans, in particular, love to embrace, as if to protect their own macho image.
The movie Magic Mike was just released this week on video. In the movie, Channing Tatum plays Mike, an entrepreneur and talented furniture designer who earns cash for his serious ambitions by performing with an all-male revue. It is based on the real-life experiences of Tatum who worked at a strip club in Tampa, Florida, when he was 19. Interestingly enough, Tatem (who is NOT gay) was interviewed in OUT magazine (a Gay Magazine) about the movie. 'It’s risky,' concedes Tatum. 'People say that women and the gay community will go see it -- knock on wood -- but I know straight guys won’t be like, ‘Yo, what’s up man -- you wanna go see the stripping movie after the game tonight?’ I doubt they’ll have the balls to see it. What’s funny is that the girls don’t ask me questions about my stripping days, but straight guys want to know everything. It’s that fantasy element. It’s probably why a lot of females on Halloween are the whorey version of a ketchup bottle, or slutty nurse, which I love and respect -- it’s liberating.' Tatum has been very open about advertising the movie to the Gay community. So why would gay males want to flock to watch a heterosexual romance? The beefcake of course!
Wouldn't a gay man prefer to have gay men groping him rather than straight women? And if hot, sweaty men turn them on then wouldn’t it stand to reason that Football players should be gay? Needless to say, stereotypes are just that……stereotypes & NOT Truths.
It doesn’t really matter if they are Gay or not to me, I am just after a little eye candy & a hot bump & grind. Its not like I’m going to take one home & fuck him.  So what do you think?
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Plus or Minus ?
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Posted:Oct 24, 2012 11:32 am
Last Updated:Oct 25, 2012 10:14 pm
36050 Views
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Negativity is something we have all dealt with at some point in our life. Negative thinking is counterproductive to fun, harmony, & likeability. Negative thoughts allowed to foster seem to grow and more they seem to spread the negativity to other aspects of your life & to those around you.
So, what happens when you meet someone in the lifestyle that is more often negative than positive? You know the kind of person I am talking about….the one that seems to hunt the bad points in people instead of inherently look for their positives, the one that constantly complains about everything without every attempting to fix the problem. It’s undeniably true that there will always be people in this world who see the glass as half empty. These are your negative people, who typically see the worst in a situation, no matter what the situation may be. Communicating with these people, whether they are friends, family, or lifestyle acquaintances, can often be difficult, exhausting, and can hinder your own happiness. Sure, we all need a shoulder to cry on occasionally that’s not what I’m talking about here, I am talking about the people that are CONSTANTLY negative.
But, what can you do? When someone repeatedly drains everyone around them, how do you maintain a sense of compassion without getting sucked into their doom? And how do you act in a way that doesn’t reinforce their negativity–and maybe even helps them? Try not to take it personal. Negativity is basically selfishness, and their selfishness is about them, not about you.
Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile, yet remain detached. Don’t get involved in it. Refuse to give a reaction, that is what they are looking for & that is what they feed on.
Have someone else around when conversing with the negative individual. In fact, the more people, the better. This way, the negative energy is divided between you and the other members, and you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negative energy.
Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity and warmth.
A lot of times, their negative behavior is a barrier they erect to protect themselves from the world. One of the best ways you can help a negative individual is to usher positivity into her life.
If all else fails, reduce contact with them or drop them from your life. Rather than spend your time with negative people, focus on the positive people in your life instead. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people, trying to help them with their issues. It drained up a lot of my energy and was often futile, which led me to rethink my methods. Ever since then, I worked on cultivating positivity by hanging out with positive friends.
Above all, make a conscious effort to keep your own energy on a positive level. If you fill yourself with all the wonderful reasons you have to be happy and grateful, there will be little room left for any negativity. Life is after all, an incredibly grand proposition! |
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Somebodys Watching Me....
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Posted:Oct 23, 2012 10:18 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2012 9:08 pm
36164 Views
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On our final day of a recent trip to Vegas I was standing on the balcony of our third story condo, soaking up the beautiful weather & the amazing view when I heard a noise behind me. Thinking it was one of my roommates coming to enjoy the view, I didn’t turn around. Suddenly I felt lips on my neck & hands on my hip, obviously it was one of my playmates…..coming for a little bit of fun. I have had a balcony fantasy/fetish for quite some time, so I started getting very excited as he eased my pants down. Soon his hands were roaming all over my body, stripping off all of my clothes….in full view of anyone that was looking up. The thought that someone indeed may notice us made the moment even more exciting. As I felt his cock growing between us I could tell that this hot moment was exciting him too. It didn’t take long before he slid his already rigid cock into my dripping pussy from behind while I leaned over the rail. The height, the heat, & the hard cock made my head swim in ecstasy. It was hard not to scream as I felt myself explode over and over. We played like this for awhile cumming several times before his breath became ragged and he shuddered as he spilled his seed inside me.
I was still reeling from the rush when a second roomie who had been watching the action and getting turned on started caressing me. As he was sliding his cock inside me I looked up (or down in this case) to see a few gentlemen walking along the sidewalk craning their heads up to watch us. As he noticed them, he pounded harder & harder into me until I couldn’t tell where I began & he ended. This time it was too much, I couldn’t hold back a scream and as I felt the telltale signs of his coming orgasm I exploded all over his cock. MMMMmmm, what a way to end a hot Vegas vacation. |
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My Craving.....
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Posted:Oct 22, 2012 7:43 pm
Last Updated:Oct 24, 2012 11:29 am
36244 Views
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Skin so soft my mind can imagine what it would feel like to slowly, gently stroke it…………
Beautiful lips that make me want to mesh mine with hers....
Amazing curves that I want to feel sliding all over me……………
Breasts just begging to be touched, licked, devoured…...
Tasting her juices while I lap up her wetness.......
Sliding my fingers deep inside & feeling her explode all over me…… MMMMMM, I am craving a woman. It has been way too long since I have been with a beautiful, sensual woman. I NEED to touch, kiss & be kissed, lick, taste, suck, devour & be devoured.
Someday soon……. |
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Does He Own Me???
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 12:37 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2012 9:35 pm
36717 Views
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Today I was reading a few Poly blogs online (this has become a favorite pastime of mine recently) & I came across an interesting & thought provoking blog. “When was the last time you thanked your primary partner for sharing you with others? You do thank your primary partner, don't you? I got to thinking about this the other day and while I appreciate the sentiment, I'm not sure I agree with it. I've seen thanking your partner recommended in some poly related books, and heard it from other poly people I know. I've even said it, paraphrased in one form or another, to more than one of the partners I've had in my life. When I got to thinking about it though I wondered . . . doesn't thanking your primary for sharing imply that they have rights over you?”
Does thanking my primary imply that he has ownership over me? Not necessarily. It implies that He made a CHOICE to share me. He doesn’t have to share; he could walk out the door at any time. He could decide that he doesn’t want to be in a Poly Relationship & that would be that. But he chooses to stay with me & still love me. To me being Poly is inherent to who I am. It’s not so much that I am poly as it is poly is what I am. So am I thanking him for allowing me to be who I am? NO, I am thanking him for loving ME as I am. He chooses to have a relationship with me while knowing that I love another as well as him. To me that is a CHOICE.
We choose to “own” each other; we “choose” to share each other. For me, getting married was a gesture of my commitment to one person, to move through life together and promise to try as hard as we could to keep doing that, even when it gets hard. We always come first to each other. No major decisions get made without mutual consultation. Perhaps "ownership" is a matter of perspective: no one truly "owns" another, but the idea that we do solidifies our commitment to one another that our relationship is primary and above all others. |
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To link to this blog (2forfunNgames09) use [blog 2forfunNgames09] in your messages.
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